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Dating husband after separation

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It merits saying up front that separation, physical or legal, does not always lead to divorce.Sometimes separation can be a time of forgiveness and renewed commitment. He did say he wants me to read some of what he has written because he can’t process and articulate correctly in person. He did say he feels he is accomplishing something with his therapy to uncover his reasons for lying. I shared some of my little personal growth moments from the last week. He didn’t start an argument, he wasn’t sulky, and he didn’t act angry, but he also wasn’t engaging or interesting. He asked what I had been doing, told me he was doing “nothing” and shared that he has been writing and working his book. He was full of excuses about looking for a new job even though this one is apparently awful and pays shit (basically his assessment). He said more than once how tired he is and how he falls asleep at 8 most nights. Overall I got too much of a “poor me” vibe and not enough “man of action.” Of course no STD or psychological testing was mentioned. He complained about the apartment he is renting – how it feels like a jail, how he has to lay on the bed to watch TV, how he wishes he knew earlier that his brother was out of town so he could be staying at his place, etc. I will use this as an opportunity to make myself stronger and healthier.Although pretending to be concerned about you, there are busy satisfying their own desires.

Have you noticed the number of people who get married the day after they are divorced? If the separation period is a time to seek reconciliation, why spend energy in an activity that leads to divorce and remarriage? We are still married while we are separated, and we ought to so live, whether or not our spouse complies.

We had our first “date” since the separation, and it was a disaster. I did it in a very I-know-I’m-hot-so-I-don’t-even-care-that-you-don’t kind of way, with an evil smirk on my face. If this was a first date I would not be going on a second one.

I have battled with poor self-esteem, and even I knew I was smoking. Finally, near the end of our time together, after I returned from the bathroom and caught two guys checking me out, I mentioned something about his lack of notice/caring/whatever of me.

“If you are not free to marry, you are not free to date!

When you start dating someone else while you are separated, you make reconciliation more difficult. Unfortunately there are those of the opposite sex who would like to take advantage of your vulnerability.